Healing for the Heart

Heartache.. Yes indeed, can be one of the most distressing physical and emotional pain we will ever experience and sadly we will all suffer from it at some point in our lives. Rather it occurs when someone we love chooses to leave us, a loved one passes away or something unexpected shatters our future plans. That piercing ache begins to consume our bodies and can seem unendurable. We may even feel as if we will never be happy again. When our hearts are broken everything is out of sorts.

 There is no amount of pain that feels so agonizing. The sensation of a giant size hole has been left in the center of our chest which leaves you feeling empty and hopeless.
We cry, scream and isolate ourselves from others as we try to deal with and make sense of the pain. Hoping and praying it goes away as quickly as possible.

There are certain things in life that can't be taught. We must walk them out for ourselves. And the trials and tribulations of life are these things. When we are faced with a troublesome situation that seems unbearable and overwhelming, it can seem as though we may never see the beauty of a sunrise again. Our days become long and gloomy, darkened by the emotional stress we are encountering and our thoughts become clouded with confusion.  Our lives as we have known it, seem turned upside down and out of control. It's a pain that wrecks havoc on our souls.

But in the midst of this grief, there is hope. A hope that eases the pain. There are sweet words that will speak directly to our hearts and soul and lighten the burden.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Healing will begin to take place when we yield our hearts to God. I know this sounds so simple and cliche but it's the truth. Oh. I had my doubts as well many years ago., thinking He was a distant God that only looked down from heaven as he sat on a throne. But that truly is a myth, we've been taught to believe. He's not far off in an untouchable place, He's near and he's a Father that shows Himself to be kind, loving, great and oh so very faithful in all areas of our lives, even in our deepest pain.
The comfort God has supplied in the darkest days of my life has brought a peace that surpassed all my understanding and enabled me to take those necessary steps towards healing. No, it wasn't easy but it became possible!

So how do we get over a broken heart?
Take heart, we will get through it.
We can talk to someone who cares and will listen.
We must allow ourselves to be human and feel the pain.
We can take our broken heart to God, He would love to mend it.
Give yourselves time to heal and learn lessons from the experience.

Let's be real, life doesn't always turn out exactly how we expect it to! We will definitely be thrown some curveballs but take heart, my beloved, when we make the decision to heal from those hurts and put into action that decision, the Lord will meet us right there with his embracing grace and wholeness.

You will not walk alone!

Love,
Tina

Seeds of Greatness

It's so phenomenal to know that each one of us is uniquely designed to be world changers. Destined to make the world we live in a better place, knowing our purpose and sowing into the lives of others.
God has planted these seeds of greatness. He's not only placed purpose inside us but created the spiritual ability to be used for great works. Sometimes our seeds of greatness are so deep down within us; that we find it difficult to discover them due to a lack of cultivating the seeds which need watering and tending to often. Other times these seeds could have been drowned out by a flood of unwanted circumstances which may be completely out of our control, leaving us with a vast void. We may feel empty yet full of many emotions. Trying to process the journey. As if everything we have hoped for only exist in other people's lives, Have you forgotten your dream?

People who have accomplished great things in life have always had a dream in their hearts.

We are God's masterpiece painted by his very own paintbrush. Every detail has been mindful of one's purpose here on earth. There's nothing average about you but so many times we forget who we truly are, what greatness lies within. We focus on our weaknesses and mistakes causing us to doubt ourselves, In my life this has been an enormous obstacle. Always leaving me to question my capacity to accomplish great things. Looking to my past failures as a blueprint for my future. But guess what? Our greatness is not in our own strength and abilities, it's spiritual. God's mark upon our heart. Why would we settle for ordinary when we were created for greatness. Let's take a look at what true greatness looks like. I am sure we all  have our own definitions. But let's see how God defines it? After all, He is the example of greatness.

Scripture tells us, "Whoever wants to be great must become a servant." Mark 10;43
Just as Jesus taught his disciples during his earthy ministry. These words speak volumes to my soul. Jesus, Son of God became flesh and walked the earth so that He could live among us to give a further revelation of  God. This right here is a display of his great love for all of us.

"I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself, he can do only what he sees the Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him even greater things than these." John 5:19-20

So if I am reading this correctly, greatness means to be a servant. Right? How could that be a trait of greatness? That's crazy, because the world tells us greatness is defined by your own accomplishments and possessing power. The bigger, the better! Keeping up with the Jones. Climbing that corporate ladder no matter who you have to push out of the way to get to the top. It seems popular to define greatness as perceived success. The harder you go after something the greater you will become. If you have money, power and status than the world calls you great. You have arrived so true in many people's lives but without a sense of purpose!

I don't know about you friends, but I don't what to gauge my greatness by check marks. It sounds exhausting! And I already have a list as long as my arm of things to do. Does my greatness have to be evaluated on a check off list as well? Yikes, that's a lot of pressure. What if a could just be me and stop all of the grueling striving? Would I look like a world changer or a slacker?  I believe the answer is yes, absolutely I can change the world in just being me. Because my greatness is already inside of me and my ability to showcase it doesn't come from what I am able to do but what He is able to do through me. My greatness comes from knowing I am a daughter and I was created to change the world. Whatever that looks like. So maybe you are struggling today with purpose and unveiling your greatness. Are you wondering how it's possible to walk out the journey before you when you're unsure of your purpose?  Well I would really love to speak a word of encouragement into your life today if you will let me..

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

In other words dear ones, you were set apart for a special purpose in life, one that was designed just for you. Your life can be a blessing to others-that's how God has destined you for greatness! Your life is of great importance. Greatness has called you by name and is waiting for you to partner with it

Greatness should never be measured by success and power, It should always be measured by how much you have to give! How much you are willing to love and embrace the dream

You are destined for greater things- never forget that! So give a shout out today, that I am GREAT!

Greater is He that is in you, than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Love,
Tina

Love Day

What if we all just took one day out of our hectic week and called it, Love Day. A day where everyone put aside the busyness of life and seized the day with someone who needs to be heard and loved on.
I love LOVE! I love to receive it, give it and support it. It's truly remarkable!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects. always trusts. always hopes. always perseveres.
Love never fails.

LOVE....I believe is the greatest gift you could ever give someone. There is something sincerely admirable about extending your heart to another person. Setting aside time to be with someone and to  just listen to their hearts as they share life with you. No outline is needed, just pull up a chair and welcome the sweet conversation between two people. Spending moments creating life, just talking, laughing, crying and being. Being together, sharing compassion for one another, what a delightful blessing! A day spent with someone is a day well spent.

 I have made it a priority in my life to set aside at least one day a week where I have lunch or dinner  with a friend even if my week is crazy and my calendar is full. I pencil in time to slow down and embrace love. In all honesty. its the best part of my week! It fills my heart with enormous pleasure and restores my weary soul. Isn't it wonderful that God placed people in our lives who can help us feel renewed? People who love you just the way you are! No strings attached or hidden agendas. Just being together enjoying each other's company. We learn so much about life when listening and spending time with one another. Some have already  walked in our shoes or may be walking in them now. Encouragement is exchanged in these sweet moments spent together. Words do not even have to be spoken, you just understand! They can hear you with their hearts when you haven't spoken a word. You know them and they know you!  Making time to be with the ones you love or the ones who need to be loved, is a beautiful blessing in life.  Every day is a new day. Another opportunity to share a love story with someone! One with great promise, building on a foundation of trust and commitment. It's a breathtaking dance between two hearts.
And I am extremely grateful for it!

Love one another deeply from the heart!

Love ya,
Tina

Works and Worship

Inspired from the story of Mary and Martha, which has been one of my most treasured narratives in Scripture. Let's face it, what woman doesn't identify with a hardworking Martha? Frustrated as she watches her captivated sister sitting at the feet of Jesus. As women our daily activities can consume our days quickly. Our minds and souls become weary and all we really want to do at the end of the day is steal a few quiet moments to ourselves. However some days that seems impossible. We've  all felt the struggle just as Martha, busy cleaning and cooking to prepare the house for guest, Wanting to worship like Mary. Who doesn't admire the loving devotion of Mary? She was fascinated with Jesus' words it drew her in. But the Martha inside each one of us speaks loudly and reminds us that there is too much to be done. Oh no, she didn't!!

Mary is drawn into Jesus even in the midst of all the busyness surrounding her. All she really desires is to sit at His feet and hang on to every word, as she feels her mind and soul being renewed. Sweet Martha, in the other room is busy with all the preparations that must be completed as guest arrive. Longing in her heart to rest at the feet of Jesus but there is just too much to be done. Certainly hospitality was a special gift of Martha's. She was a noble and beloved follower and friend of Jesus.

Luke writes:

Now as they were traveling along. He entered a certain village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. And she had a sister called, Mary, who moreover was listening to the Lord's word, seated at His feet. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him, and said, " Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." But the Lord answered and said to her, " Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only a few things are necessary, really only one, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." ( Luke 10:38-42)

Ouch!! Martha's complaint sounds naïve and girlish. And yet, Jesus' reply while containing a mild rebuke, has a fatherly tone to it.
Poor Martha, I can totally relate to her disappointment and need to be heard. We all can at times, right?

Having a heart like Mary, intrigues us. We hunger for it deep down inside. There's a calling on all of us to know and love God deeper. A thirst that only His presence can quench. We want to sit at His feet but the busyness of life can seem to swallow us up. The craving for intimacy continues to strum on our heart strings.

But like Martha, there's a part that just can't let go. There's too much to be done. Exhausted, wondering how will I find the time? In what hour of the day. It can seem so out of reach, some days.
Nurturing our spiritual life seems like just one more thing we have to do, another chore or duty to add to the full,' what else needs to be done list.' In a life already spilling over with responsibilities. Oh Martha's sweet heart, aimed to please, enjoyed serving her guest. She too loves Jesus.

Jesus had apparently came at Martha's request. She was the one who welcomed Him in, signifying that she was the actual hostess of ceremonies in their home. She fussed over her hostess duties. She wanted everything to be just right. She's truly a considerate hostess, with admirable traits. As many of you ladies have done when you have hosted a dinner party. In that minute we want everything to be perfect.
It's a beautiful description of how Jesus comes on the scene. He was the perfect houseguest. He immediately makes Himself at home, enjoying the fellowship and conversation. Mary instantly sits herself down at His feet and listens. As Martha went right to work.
Martha and Mary both loved Jesus, Mary longed to soak up all she could while He was with her. She chose not to be distracted by chores. Martha could not agree with this type of serving therefore in her desire to serve, she was missing out on an opportunity to spend time with her guest. Oh beloved, a part of us wants to worship like Mary and sit at the feet of Jesus but there is also a part that is so much like Martha, distracted by the many things in our daily lives that need to be done.

But there is a better part, a good part, as Jesus speaks about in Luke. The good part is available to both Mary and Martha, and to each of us! Regardless of our gifts, talents or personalities. It's a choice we must make.
It isn't "more" He requires. In fact it may be less. We must learn to slow down, stop to smell the roses and allow Him to draw us close as we let go of our busyness and sit at His feet and listen.

Let you soul be soften.

Love,
Tina

Grateful for the Obstacles

So much is happening in my world right now. Wonderful, amazing, challenging and life changing things.  I could say, life is good on most days. I am experiencing a place of achievement, a position which has not been easy to obtain. In fact for so many years I had questioned my ability to take this journey, this unbelievable path that I felt has been paved just for me.  Why, you may ask? Self doubt, insecurity and fear..Yep..all of those negative adjectives have kept me anxious and oppressed particularly in the area of leading, becoming the founder of a non-profit organization that focuses on the horrific topic of trafficking. My passion and love for these survivors has truly flooded my heart to the point of no return but the thoughts of the mind still taunt me. It really is a battle of the mind. Up and down with emotions. One day filled with excitement but another day filled with disappointment. Some days wanting to give up! Oh sweet friends, I know I am not alone! Some of you may be experiencing these battles of the mind too? When we are called to do the impossible, we begin to wonder if is it actually possible?

Our lives are a journey filled will lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys and celebrations. There will be those special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination. our purposes in life. However the path will not always be smooth. Throughout our travels we will encounter several challenges. Some which will test our strengths, courage, faith and weaknesses. Oh we will surely stumble upon road blocks that will come between the path we are destined to take. But we must stay the course, overcome the obstacles. Many of these obstacles are blessings in disguise only we can't see them at the time.

Throughout this adventure in life, people will give you advice and insight on how to travel your journey, but when it comes right down to it, always follow your heart, having no regrets. Don't hold anything back. Give it all you have with all your heart and most importantly stay true to yourself.

It has often been quoted, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Well, that depends on how one defines the word, "stronger." It can have a different meaning for different people. In this blog, I am referring to stronger as looking back at the person I was and comparing it to the person I am today. I am looking deep into my soul and realizing that the very person I am today couldn't exist if it wasn't for the things that happened in my past or the people whom I've met along the journey.

You see dear ones, everything that happens in our life happens intentionally, but with great grace. And sometimes that means facing heartaches and disappointments in order to experience joy and complete contentment. Coming to a realization that you can do it! It is possible no matter the size of the potholes that occur along the way.

So with these last words being written. I would like to close with this.
Life is more than a journey, it's an unique adventure destined just for us!

Enjoy every step of  it....for it is truly amazing!

Love,
Tina

Heart of Hope

We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.
Still the truth of these words resonate deep within my soul. A journey down an unknown path would soon be my future. One in which I would travel with more heartache, doubt, fear and pain than I could have ever imagined existed. I was still immature and naïve. But that troublesome road reminds me every day of the absolute truth of God's words spoken to my heart about my unborn child.
"What are you afraid of, Tina?  No matter what happens, I will always be here."
~God~
At the time these words were whispered to me I didn't even know Him. He was a distant God. But his words would soon change my life. As I am writing this the scripture Jeremiah 1:5 keeps reciting itself in my thoughts. "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose."

Many of you have heard my story over the years or at least bits and pieces of it through causal conservation or attending a women's event I have spoken at. Unaware that many of you haven't and  after posting a comment on Facebook yesterday I received several private messages asking what was going on so I decided to share this blog today.
Sometimes I forget myself about the condition my son lives with until its time to see the doctor again....how wonderful is that?  By looking at my son you would never know that the heart that beats inside his chest is precisely a miracle. It is truly all that God said it would be!

So let me start with some facts. My son was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome-(HLHS) 17 years ago. A birth defect that affects normal blood flow through the heart. It is rare and complex. In HLHS, the left side of the heart is critically underdeveloped. When my son was born the left side of his heart couldn't effectively pump blood to his lungs and to the rest of his body. Babies that are born with this heart defect usually are seriously ill (fatal if undetected) soon after birth and require either surgery or a heart transplant.

During a routine ultrasound at 22 weeks (5 months) we were told that our son would be born with this rare heart condition. One that would require immediate action. At this time I was being seen by a high risk doctor for this pregnancy because my daughter whom was born just 5 months earlier with a heart defect called Aortic Coarctation (the narrowing of the aorta) which was undetected even after many trips to her pediatrician during the first week of her life. When she was 10 days old she suddenly went into heart failure and shock. After being transported by ambulance she was admitted into our local children's hospital where they performed emergency heart surgery however she passed away several weeks later due to organ failure. It was one of the hardest and darkest times in my life. She would be 18 years old and no doubt a beautiful young lady, We miss her dearly but know we will hold her in our arms again one day.

Shocked by the news that yet another one of our babies were going to be born extremely sick and with only a 20% chance of survival. Not only were we distraught by this discovery but so were our pediatric cardiologist. We all cried in that room together that day. During that appointment we were advised to consider terminating the pregnancy. Every emotion imaginable how now taken over every part of my being. I honestly can not remember the days that followed however the fear had shaken the very core of my family and their reaction was the same as our doctors.
Numb and immobilized I made that dreaded call to my OB doctor to hear the horrific plans for terminating. While on this call listening to the nurse describe the plans for the procedure. I felt as if someone or something was squeezing the very life from me. I could not catch my breath and I began to feel nauseated, disoriented and immensely light headed, disconnected from the voice I was hearing on the other end of the phone and losing sight of the reality I was facing, as if I was coming to the end of my life. When I hung up the phone, I went crazy! Screaming, ugly crying and punching the air with so much anger. I was home alone during this time. My mother had my two boys with her and my husband was at work. All I remember was hysterically gasping for air, thinking I am dying and no one is here to help me, screaming at the top of my lungs. And these words formed on my lips as I shouted out to an empty room, IF YOU ARE WHO PEOPLE SAY YOU ARE, I NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO, BECAUSE I AM DYING HERE!! I wasn't even aware of this moment physically. I had let go of it all, my feet gave way from under me and I slide down the wall and cried uncontrollably, all alone. That's when I heard Him speak, audibly and with great force but with a gentle and loving tone.
"What are you afraid of, Tina? I am here no matter what happens."

In that very moment my tragic situation had shifted. I wiped away my tears and even let out a sudden burst of laugher. Mind you I hadn't laughed in months!!! I couldn't explain what had just taken place on the floor of my kitchen that day but one thing I knew for sure....over the next several months I walked with a determination, peace and hope I had never experienced in my life. During my son's first surgery at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) which took place only 3 days after he was born. We were witnessing many babies dying on the cardiac floor, ones with the some heart defect as my son's. Parents we had come to know and share our days with. But never once did God allow the fear or doubt to get near me, in fact I carried such a peace that surpasses all my understanding that even the doctors and nurses took notice. I was experiencing the embrace of a Father's love not only for me but also for my son.
Today Solomon is a healthy, thriving teenager with a clean bill of health and hope for a bright future. The road hasn't been an easy one lots of tears, doctors, hospitals, surgeries and procedures. However we haven't travel solo. We are watching our handsome son grow into a fine young man and had I not listened to those precious words that were spoken in my kitchen that day, we would not have had this incredible gift to cherish and adore.
So friends, my hope for you all today is even when life seems unbearable and overwhelming, open your hearts and your ears and listen to that voice of truth. One that brings hope and peace even in the midst of an outrageous storm.

My hope is in Jesus!
Love,
Tina

A Christmas Prayer

This morning I woke up with the sweet thoughts of Christmas and family on my heart. I absolutely love this time of year. I go all out with decorating my home and reminiscing on the memories my family has created together. Not the hustle and bustle but the sounds of laughter and excitement permeate the air and the wonders of Christmas captivate me with a childlike sensation. For me it is the most wonderful time of the year. However there are others who are alone during the holidays living in fear and dread, uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring and the Christmas season is just a reminder of that isolation. Watching families together and friends gathering to take part in the Christmas cheer can be a dagger to the heart.
I have several friends who have shared with me how difficult the holidays are for them. Due to a loss of a family member or life's unpredictable curve balls that have been thrown their way. Many experience a sense of despair despite all the well-wishing they encounter.
Being the founder of an organization that deals with the restoration of sex trafficked victims is a tremendous eye opener to the reality that Christmas isn't the most wonderful time of the year for many people in fact this could possibly be the most darkest time of the year for those individuals. Amid the jolly songs and festive celebrations, exchanging of gifts with friends and family many victims are crying and dying alone. When we are told that Christmas time should be the happiest time of the year, commercials enforce it, networks broadcast it, displaying an image that Christmas is the opportunity to be joyful and grateful. There are those who will never experience this kind of joy and gratefulness because they are a prisoner trapped in a world we can not imagine.  So what if you are a sex trafficked victim?? How are they to be joyful and grateful during this beautiful Christmas season? Living in dark, dingy hotel rooms, under the control of some else. As prisoners, being told when, what and how things will be done. Having no control or say so. No emotions or passion for life. Just hoping to make it through another day alive. With dreams of one day understanding the true meaning of Christmas with joyful songs upon grateful hearts!
 I guess my reason for writing this blog today is to express my heart and be the voice for these women who we may never know or see. Let's say a prayer today for these precious victims... at Christmas time its hard when we are enjoying our families and celebrating but there is a world outside of ours, that is full of horror and torment. No Christmas trees or Christmas cheer to be enjoyed. But my hope is that they will sense the sweet presence of Jesus even in those dark places..... and to be rescued from the prison that encloses them.


For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called; Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas my dear friends!

Love,
Tina