My First Love

Do you remember your first love? The way it made you feel about yourself. Was it a nurturing relationship or was it an unhealthy one? They say that first love is the deepest and in some ways I can believe that to be true. The depth of first love can be all-consuming. Taking over our thoughts and emotions. Our first love often times become the standard that all future loves are measured against. If our first love was unhealthy it may have damaged our self-worth and ability to receive love. We may find that our identity is based off of which we have gained from our "so called lover or provider" and can cause a negative impact on our relationships!

I know all to well how this can affect your perspective on future relationships. As a result of unhealthy relationships I struggled with my identity of loving and being worthy of love. It was hard for me to give or receive love in a healthy way because as a young girl I felt unloved and subconsciously I harbored resentment.  My relationships were one of desperation for acceptance and a need to be loved and as a result I unknowingly sacrificed myself at all cost to have someone "love" me. In all reality I longed for the love of a father which was a void in my life.

Beloved, the struggle is real! Looking for love it all the wrong places had lead me down very dark and destructive roads. Feeling so alone even when surrounded by many people. I felt empty and even struggled with seasons of depression. I lacked self-love, self-worth, and self- acceptance. Oh and the shame that partnered with these feelings was the worst. Afraid that others would see the" ugly truth" that consumed me. I hid it well, in fact so well that I, myself couldn't see it anymore! As a result of the empty void that dominated my soul I was constantly in and out of relationships from a very young age. With each break up and rejection I lost a little bit more of myself!  Unfortunately this cycle continued into my adult years and remained a huge obstacle in every area of my life which ultimately created a deep crater of wounds upon my heart. Until that glorious day that I met and experienced the true love of a Father. Truthfully, in my pain God had always been close to me and I didn't even realize it.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18

The love of a Father, there is truly nothing like it. It changes hearts, circumstances, brings hope and heals all wounds. It empowers lives! It has empowered mine. He is and should be the example of our first love. "For God so loved the world." Yep, that includes you and me, my friend. I know it can be how to fathom when you have felt forsaken by the ones who are suppose to love you well. My dears, He desires to be our first love. The One who wants to wipe away every tear and heal every hurt. The One who's heart breaks because our hearts are broken. The One who stretched out His arms of love and died for us.
 Our Father will turn every tear we've cried into joy, and use our deep pains for a divine purpose. We can't hide our hurts from Him because he knows everything about us! My dear ones, He is the only one that can handle our rejection, shame and hurts. Only God can restore us to wholeness again. We don't have to earn His love, we have always had it! He longs to see us set free from searching for love in all the wrong places.
Therefore we are free! Free to love ourselves despite our past relationships. We are designed to love and be loved unconditionally and abundantly.
So don't forget your first love!  Encounter LOVE AND LET IT BE ALL-CONSUMING!  Rejection and all.......
 

We love him, because he first loved us.  1John 4:19

Love,

Tina